Many couples, being parents for the first time, encounter a lot of situations for which they were not fully prepared. The joy of a pregnancy, the illusion and the desire make few people tell you what really happens when the baby finally arrives.
A group of fathers and mothers were videotaped to explain to future parents what they would have liked to hear before having the baby and this video is the result of it: ten tips for first time parents.
First of all, watch the video
Before reading further, watch the video and listen to the advice.
Well, I guess you'll be a little excited now because these parents show that in reality, although being parents has turned out to be harder than they expected, they feel happy, happy and grateful.
Actually, the last advice is the best of all because in reality everything lies in love, in preparing you to love him very much and in being clear that you are going to feel many different emotions, sometimes opposed. Anyway, we will review all of this below.
Something about those ten tips
The first advice they give is to be clear that whatever you do, someone will think you are doing it wrong. If you take him in the arms, because you take him, if you don't take him, because you don't take him. If you let him cry because you let him cry, if you don't let him, because he has to cry. If he sleeps with you because he is wrong, if you do not sleep with him, because he is also wrong. Do what you feel and do not enter the internet? Well, I would rather say: do what your baby asks you, pay attention to him, because in the end he is the beneficiary or harmed. Whatever you ask, whatever makes you well, will be right for your baby.
On the advice of making a schedule, I don't know very well what to say because I don't understand it much. I guess they mean putting the baby to sleep according to a schedule, feeding them in the same way, doing things when they touch, etc. In my house we have never done anything similar, so I can not say that it is something that works or not, although in our case, knowing our children, surely we would have created more anxiety than calm, for trying to comply with a schedule to which, We probably would not have arrived.
Great the following advice, that more than advice is a warning: Being a father is not easy, it is very hard. Then they say something like go out to dinner outside, leave the child with someone, and I leave this to the choice of each couple, but I disagree. I know it's very hard, I've had three, but a baby is from his father and mother and, normally, it is they who he needs most. If we talk about older children, go ahead. If we talk about a baby, I don't see it. At some point he will wake up, cry and look for his mother (the father is not mentioned here because when a baby cries it is not usually the father he is looking for).
Tip number seven is also very valid: don't force situations, don't try to make them who you want them to be, or try to get them to do what you want them to do. When you force things to break, so just let me tell you what you want and how you want it, and do it. Babies have only one mission, to survive, so they will do everything possible to achieve it and that is why they will ask you at all times what they need to be calm and calm, which will be, at the same time, the best way they will be able to dedicate Your attention to our way of life. Not spending time or energy worrying about your safety and well-being, you can spend both on learning, developing and adapting to the world in which you have lived.
Tip number six says we must be prepared for the unexpected, because it can happen. The examples they give do not just convince me, but it is true: your children will constantly generate doubts, and when you have resolved them they will grow and generate new doubts, so never trust and always strive to be a good example for them.
As for number five, prepare him a room. It seems to me a totally dispensable advice, but when we buy everything for our children and in the end we practically spare everything. There will be time to prepare a room when you are older and then you do need a small table where to draw and paint, a little bed where to sleep and your toys. Eye, then you see the parents of the video and it seems that they are in line with what I say, it makes no sense that a 3 kilos baby has so many things (maybe there is an error in the translation).
Tip four comes to say that of "Take advantage, because they grow very fast". They focus on keeping the baby clothes or their things to keep the memories, but basically the important thing is to try to live intensely with them every moment, or as many moments as they can. If you do so, there will be no reason to miss past times.
The number three tells us that we must be grateful, that in spite of the bad moments, the good ones compensate and that even when it seems that you are not going to get ahead, you do it and everything happens, everything evolves, everything changes and becomes different because they grow, mature and change too.
The following advice, number two, explains that you cannot be perfect, that it will be normal for us to lose patience, that there will be better and worse days and that we cannot torture ourselves for not being exemplary parents, because it is such a great change that we will feel found emotions, in the extremes: the most immense happiness and at other times the most absolute despair.
The last one is the most touching: get ready to love someone like never before. I do not say more about it because each father and mother feels differently the love and love for their children, but I agree on the different and special relationship because They come from you, they are part of you and they need you almost as much as you do to them (sometimes even less, because children often arrive to save their parents from their way of life and being).
Video | UPSOCL
In Babies and more | 12 tips that as a father I would give to other parents, Symptoms that you are first-time parents. Humor
