Something we are doing wrong, very bad and I still have no clear reason. No matter what we do because we almost always "feel" that this is not what we should do.
Yes, I talk about motherhood in general and breastfeeding in particular but I would not care about any other aspect of raising our children. Why have most mothers felt or felt pressured by the way they feed or raise their babies? Don't you sometimes have the feeling of living under pressure? Hasn't it happened to you?
No matter if you go or if you come, the fact is that the feeling that this is not what you should be doing is not taken away by anyone on many occasions, to see if I explain myself.
If you give a bottle ...
For whatever reason, I am not going to do that, the fact is that if your baby is fed with a bottle You are not the first or the second woman who says she feels pressured for not being able to breastfeed, who says he feels bad, that he acknowledges having tried but confesses almost with anguish or guilt complex that either he did not know or could not breastfeed for whatever reasons, that is not important now.
The important thing is the anguish, the pain of feeling that your environment thinks that something you are doing wrong.
Why that feeling? Why that pressure? Why that feeling of guilt and of not being doing everything you should or could do? Who imposes it? Why do we let him do it and especially that get it?
If you breastfeed ...
The feeling don't think it's better, there will always be someone at some point who questions what you are doing I do not doubt that sometimes you can do it even with the best intention but what those comments get is not always to help the mother or support her or at least respect her.
Because or are you all day with "The tit out" or the same is that he is getting used to it or is that he does not want to eat but simply sucks or does not take out anything or is that it is too big and clear with the chest just not worth it according to his "expert opinion".
There will always be someone wanting to open your eyes to reality, theirs, of course. You always find an opinion that touches your self-esteem and makes you think that something you are doing wrong that the same thing they are right and you are not and even find that opinion that makes you change your decision even if you are not at all convinced.
Deaf ears
It's so easy to say everything and everyone, what we know and what we don't, anything before we keep quiet and of course, anything before respecting decisions and listening to the opinions of others.
It is not a personal assessment although it could, it is a general sensation. A few days ago we talked about it was the singer Adele who spoke precisely about that excessive and unjustified pressure but I don't care if it's to breastfeed to stop giving it. I don't care if it's to take my son in my arms or to leave him in the crib.
The point is that the moment in which calmer, happier and more supported should be a woman, a mother, a family, becomes a stage of doubt, uncertainty and unfounded anguish.
We are the generation of mothers and fathers more and better informed, we have more access and more information and yet, We are the generation of mothers (especially) who feel more insecurity when raising their children. Yes, I am generalizing. Yes, there are exceptions and I celebrate them as they deserve, but the feeling when talking to recent mothers, when listening to them, is that practically everyone thinks (we think at the time) that there is always something they are doing wrong or that they could at least do better, always in the eyes of others, of course.
I do not know at what point we have decided that we do what we do is badly done but I am looking forward to finally deciding the opposite, as soon as possible because it is not fair or makes us better people, or those who judge (that the truth, I care much less) or to the courts, which do not deserve it. No, we do not deserve it.
Photos | iStockphoto
In Babies and more | Oh, but is it that pediatricians are not lactation consultants? | Nursing mothers: are we so intolerant of women who do not breastfeed? | "Victims of breastfeeding": getting into the wagon of the milk war
