At this time it is very common to see that more and more parents are committing to raising children. And this is something that is undoubtedly very good because it is proven that the closeness of the father is beneficial in the development of children.
However, although within the family nucleus dad is very active in the care and education of the children, it is still very common for people to assume that it is the mother who takes care of them exclusively and reduce the role of the father to one secondary. Therefore today I would like to remind you something: parenting is of both.
The children are from mom and dad
This is more than clear, but sometimes it seems that some people forget and it seems that the children are only from mom. In our little family, Lucia is both. We both decided to have her, we were both waiting for her and we are both in charge of her care. She it's the responsibility of dad and mom alike.
Previously, parenting and childcare fell only to mothers, but times, customs and ways of thinking change and the relationship with children is no exception. We are currently millions of families who make the decision that everything related to home and children is something that is done as a team. In our house, for example, we have decided that our work as parents is divided equally. Because the children are of both.
Neither mom nor dad is just a spectator
It is common and quite normal to always go to the mother when it comes to talking about something about the children. Although things are very different 50 years ago, by habit perhaps, we continue to address the mother and not the father.
This is something that happens especially in family gatherings or at parties we all go to: when someone wants to ask about Lucia or make a comment, she specifically addresses me. It's a situation that doesn't bother me at all, but without them noticing, continue to reduce his father to a secondary role.
They may think: "come on, that is not so much"But the reality is that by doing this, this belief that Dad is like a babysitter or a mere spectator, who knows little or nothing about caring for children, is still valid.
But Dad knows, and he knows a lot. At home, since Lucia was born, we both got up at night to attend her, of course, as a mother at that time she was more active because of breastfeeding, but changing diapers, baths, naps, we both did it all. There was never a "go, now it's your turn"Because we both knew we were a team and we were always at the bottom of the canyon.
Over the years, my husband is just as expert in "Lucia" as I am. We both know your tastes, your strengths, your weaknesses and your needs. We know how to recognize their expressions and we are able to easily identify when something does not like or bother you. And that is thanks to that We were always equally active in their care and upbringing, a situation that many families currently live.
Of course, each family is different
Now, obviously the pace of life of each family is different and what works for us may not work for others, but what we must keep in mind, is that the involvement of parents is key in the development of children. With the passage of time we have managed to find a balance so that she spends time alone with both, in addition to the time we spend together the three.
In our case, we could say that we follow the "traditional" modality that dad works outside the home, but when it comes is the moment we work as a team and we are both with her. Sometimes I go to a cafe to work for a few hours, while Dad stays with her at home. It is something that benefits us all, because on the one hand they spend time together and I can focus 100% on my work without all the pending of the house.
I understand that there are families and people who still consider mom as the main responsible for the care of the children, but nowadays there are more and more parents who are involved and who justly want to be seen as a babysitter. So let's stop doing it, because the upbringing is of the two and it is a team work.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Being an egalitarian father, involved and with attachment is all advantages: science says it, Pediatricians recommend that parents spend time with their children because their way of treating them is different from that of moms, parents who raise children, couples happier
