The theme of children's sleep and crying is very delicate and many have circulated false and harmful concepts. I have read and applied (that is, respect and accompany my son) Rosa Jové's book "Sleep without tears" that explains what we can expect and what we cannot expect from our children. I recommend it.
Now I present this one by Sheila Kitzinger, the famous social anthropologist and the world's most popular writer in pregnancy and birth. It has more than 23 books. Here we present "Born at home".
As I discovered in a blog about motherhood and breastfeeding full of sensitivity, sweetness and instinctive wisdom, I dare to publish it here because I rule out that it is behavioral and that lets the baby cry without the comfort of an adult, a hug or a babysitter . There are hundreds of scientific and ethical reasons against these systems.
In fact the first chapter of this book is: "The baby is not my enemy"We started on the right track.
The prologue is from the prolific psychologist, pedagogue and Spanish writer Bernabé Tierno, the publisher is Salvat and the price is about 20 euros.
Here is an excerpt from the book that allows us to judge it better:
"Another important difference between industrialized and traditional societies is that the independence that adults have to demonstrate in our culture they are also imposed on children from an early age, even since they are babies.
If a woman feeds the baby every time she wants to breastfeed, if the baby sleeps in bed with her or if she continues to breastfeed after nine months, they can criticize her for "do what the baby wants"and they warn him that he is raising crows. They tell him that he will never be able to get the baby out of bed, that the child will grow" stuck and afraid ", and that, if he is a boy, he will be" hanging on the skirts of his mother, "which implies that he will be effeminate and unable to have heterosexual relationships.
In our culture there is much emphasis on instilling independence in our children. It is considered a moral responsibility. Sleeping all night, eating solids, learning to go to the bathroom, are not only things for the comfort of parents, but indications of this development towards social independence; It's a milestone on the road.
It is exactly the opposite of the relationship between the peasant mother and her son, to which he accommodates inside the shawl or poncho, or ties him attached to his skin. Perhaps we should not be surprised when babies protest because they are separated by the force of the calming smell, firmness, softness and safety of their mother's body, the sound of her voice and the rhythm of the mother's heartbeat.
Women also miss something in our culture… "
