Unfortunately we are not free to avoid our children all suffering. Families, at some point, we must face the death of a loved one. When there are young children at home, our pain is joined by not knowing how to best explain what happened to our children.
But children, even the youngest ones, will perceive grief, see us cry, and discover the lack of that person who used to accompany their lives. It will be especially difficult for children under five to understand that this person will never return. We must have patience, because some time later it seems that they cannot assimilate that easily.
Should we take the child to a wake or a funeral? I would not know what to do. On the one hand, I would worry that I could impress him. On the other, I think it may benefit them to share these acts of family grieving.
Perhaps the most important thing is to put ourselves in their place, both in feelings and in the ability to understand, so that they can also live their grief and help them that their fears about their own death or that of those around them can be overcome. On the Live the loss page they publish a comprehensive document on the child duel which can be useful to those in this situation.
