Some years ago I met the head of studies of a school, I tried to obtain information to decide in which school I would go to my children, so I was fundamentally interested in the pedagogical and conflict control aspects.
However, for some reason, my interlocutor began to talk to me about school trips and told me that from the first year of primary school the children make an end-of-course excursion during which they stay to sleep two nights away from home. She seemed a little alarmed that at that age (6/7 years), some children had never slept outside the house.
Apart from that I do not find anything crazy that children of such a young age have not spent any night outsideI think the experience (grandparents, uncles, a friend, etc.) can be very exciting, our children they must be prepared for the occasion, regardless of age. And on the other hand, parents should have enough information to give us peace of mind. For some children far from being a fun experience, it is a fact that can generate anguish.
Afraid to sleep outside the home
Feeling a little anxious about this situation is normal, although there are children who suffer from excessive fear, so much that it will result in physical symptoms (stomachache, cold and sweaty hands, headaches, nausea, etc.).
Obviously it is not necessary to spend a night away from home, and many children can continue to live without it, at least while they are small, the dilemma sometimes arises when fear may prevent them from a camp or excursion, and they feel bad when compared to others.
On the other hand it is easier to stay with grandparents if there is confidence, than to go with friends or at a school exit.
The role of the family
If a weekend is planned at a friend's house, or the school trip is more than one day, we must allow our children express everything that worries you.
If they are unable to express themselves, we can obtain more information by facilitating them to 'place themselves' in the experience before living it: finding out how they will develop is easy if we elaborate questions that start with 'What if ...?' (And if you want to go home? What will you do? What if you don't like the dessert that your friend's mother gives you? How will you tell her?) In this way, the child can realize their strengths and weaknesses in advance, feel more secure knowing exactly what to do, or change their mind (without this having any negative impact).
The child should be well informed about where he will sleep (if he goes home friend), and other parallel activities that have been planned. If it is a camp you should be told how many days it will be, which children will go, if the parents are going to visit them at some time, and who are the monitors. A general advice is focus our comments on the most pleasant aspects of the experience, although we will not ignore how they feel.
As parents we should avoid comforting children excessively, in case of distressed children it is no use to assert that they will be fine, because we ignore their emotions and distrust us
We must take into account
Our son must be prepared for living together: knowing how to ask for things, not suffering from nocturnal enuresis, being able to express his discomfort.
To have absolute confidence with the parents of the friend in whose house he will sleep, or to have all the necessary information about the house of colonies where the children will spend three days: how do they act if a child becomes ill? Are there menus adapted for circumstances? specials ?, can parents call for information?
Do not hesitate to make a list with everything you want to know, and go to interview with the tutor of the school (if it is a school trip), or call / send an email, to those responsible for the camp.
They will sleep outside when they are ready for it
It makes no sense to force children to sleep outside the home under any pretext, there are many children who spend every night in their room until they are 12 years old, and then they are autonomous and independent people, among them some are able to take courses abroad with only 14 years without presenting any problem. This happens because the rhythms of the kids are respected and they are allowed to express themselves, and above all choose.
My own experience (like that of many of you, I suppose) is of a girl who spent her first nights away from home from the age of 10, it was a kind of 'macro pajama parties' after the end of summer in which all the children with whom he lived three months, in addition to the occasional guest, slept without too much order on mattresses, and we stepped on each other every time one wanted to leave the room. Every year we slept in one of our homes, setting rotations.
From there everything was easier, during my adolescence I spent quite often nights at the house of two friends or uncles, I think Everything happened when I was mature enough, not before. That is why I know that children should not be forced, nor compared with others that do accept the fact more easily, so, my children will sleep outside the house when they are ready.
