The emotional state of the mother after childbirth is unpredictable, but we can say that quite often it can be something similar to the path of a ferris wheel: now it is up, now it is going down. Euphoria can be mixed with moments of tension, fear and sadness. Yes, sadness after childbirth is very frequent, despite being told that we should be the happiest women in the world for having our baby in our arms.
We are not talking about postpartum depression, which is a serious disorder that needs medical attention, but about a state of melancholy, frequent crying, of decay that does not last beyond a week and, fortunately, is easily overcome by letting the days, knowing the baby more, feeling safer.
In addition, overcoming sadness after childbirth is even simpler if we consider these recommendations that involve the couple, the family, the environment. You know, if you are going to have a baby or know someone who is about to be a mother, don't stop knowing how to overcome sadness after childbirth, also known as "baby blues".
The pregnant woman's brain prepares to bind to the baby, but that link may not be immediate: do not be sad about it, give yourself time, the first moments with the baby could be difficult, you are tired and sore after delivery and maybe just You need to rest to enjoy the baby, which takes us to the next point.
Try to rest what you can, nobody is happy if the body asks for rest, if you are exhausted. Ask your partner to change the diaper at night or to bring you closer to the baby to breastfeed if you do not have it next to you. You can also restrict visits, ask friends or family not to go to the hospital but wait for you to get better. Overcoming fatigue after childbirth can take a few days, take it easy.
If the mother had realistic expectations before the birth and was informed of the process, possible setbacks ... it will be more difficult for there to be dejection if what she wanted has not been fulfilled (we refer to practices that were needed during childbirth with which the mother did not I counted, not with those unnecessary practices).
You may have feelings of disability, think that you will not know how to change a diaper, bathe the baby, cure the navel ... The classes of childbirth preparation shared with the couple or family that can help you if necessary and raise all your doubts to medical professionals will make you more secure . Do not keep your fears and questions.
Even with the second or subsequent children we can think that we are not doing well, that we neglect the eldest son, and worries could make us sad. Share it with your partner and do not deprive yourself of spending time with the older child, who also has to meet his new brother or sister.
Problems with breastfeeding sometimes happen, you have to be patient and think that, just as everything could go well at first and not go through any difficulty, these setbacks could occur as cracks, bad grip ... Trust your instinct and ask for help to the midwife or breastfeeding support groups.
The sadness for the new aspect, for having lost the belly but not having it as before, for the swollen breasts, the extra kilos ... As in so many other points, give yourself time. It is possible to recover the figure after delivery, but it is not immediate. The couple and the environment are important in this regard, because they have to avoid hurtful comments regarding that "postpartum aspect" that is rarely like that of magazines.
Again we need time for the members of the couple to adjust to the new family member, to adapt to the new rhythms, to the new functioning. That your partner tries to spend as much time as possible with you and help with the baby in whatever way he can.
Do not feel guilty for your fears, for your doubts, for your failures. Even the most experienced parents commit them, there are no perfect parents. You are learning and accepting this makes life easier for you right now.
Talk to your friends, sharing your feelings with them will help you be better.
Give yourself a treat, that food that you want so much, a movie at home (although you probably have to interrupt it several times), a book, a getaway with the baby, a yoga session ... Anything that lifts the mood of the mother will be welcome .
Home with the baby: the world does not end
The time has come to leave the hospital and it seems that we will not be able to pass this litmus test, but these are the tips to make you feel better, so that the sadness is less:
Ask the family, the couple for help. Let yourself help, discuss with them what you need, what you would like them to do for you. In this sense, the desires can be multiple: that they stay a little while with the baby or that they leave you alone with him, that they prepare the food, that they collect or order, that they facilitate the rest ...
Accept your limitations and changes at home, do not demand too much and above all do not demand the same as before having the baby. There will be time to cook, to keep the house clean and tidy ...
Get out of the house, don't get stuck, run away from isolation. You may lack your strength at first, but we must be aware that life continues beyond the four walls. Walk, go shopping, exercise… everything can be done with the baby.
Enjoy your baby, spend time with him, he needs you. Probably your first smile or your first gurgle is enough to make our day. They are a life-giving balm no matter how much we doubt it the first few days.
If after a week there is no sadness and you have worrying symptoms of apathy or desire not to continue, you may be going through a postpartum depression, ask for help, tell the doctor, midwife, your partner ...
But the most common is that after a few days you overcome the baby-blues or sadness after childbirth: You are already more prepared to enjoy the baby, and we hope that this is the case, although new episodes of sadness or emotional tension could happen if problems arise with breastfeeding, physical recovery, with the couple ... So you have to be attentive to all signs, as well as the environment of the mother.
Photos | Thinkstock
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